The French Riviera's very own Bridget Jones returns to London from Nice to seek fame, fortune and people who are happy for you to buy things from them in shops without it ruining their day.
The story of What Happened Next. And why it wasn't my fault. (I was over there. Honest.)
I'm a freelance BBC comedy and political satire writer, also making a living from writing about cellulite (that's no way to talk about Nick Clegg, I know). In Nice, in search of a steady income, an all-over tan, a man with a sense of humour and a hairy chest. (The hairy chest is for the man, not for me. Just to clarify). Follow my adventures on the Cote D'Azur, where the dogs are small and the men are smaller...